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Ex-ruining My Marriage, Pls Help!!!!
Listing #415 by KenyanList Archives on July 29, 2020    . Viewed 30 times . Replied to 0 times . Printed 0 times

FRIENDS IAM NOT A VERY HAPPY MAN AS OF NOW, AND I URGENTLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. I HAD THIS CHILE THAT I WAS DATING WAY BACK IN IN THE NINETIES UNTIL SHE ELOPED WITH A KA RICH KALEO GUY FROM ELDORET. WELL, I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO FIND A LIFE AND THIS GOT ME INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP THAT EVENTUALLY LED TO MARRIAGE.

NOW, SOMEHOW, THIS CHICK GOT MY NUMBER AND STARTED CALLING ME ONCE IN A WHILE. I EXPLAINED TO HER THAT I HAD SINCE MARRIED AND IT WOULD BE HEALTHY IF WE JUST STOPPED COMMUNICATING. SHE DID NOT WANT TO HEAR A WORD OF IT, AND AFTER I STARTED IGNORING HAR CALLS, SHE STARTED SENDING ME VERY ROMANTIC SMS's.

THIS SATURDAY WHILE I WAS IN MY DRUNKEN SLEEP, SHE SENT LIKE 10 STEAMY, STEAMY, HOT MESSAGES AND MY WIFE PICKED THEM UP.

SHE DID NOT TELL ME, BUT INSTEAD FORWARDED THEM TO RELATIVES (BOTH MINE AND HERS) THAT VERY NITE, AND THEN WOKE ME UP FOR A HEATED ARGUEMENT AS I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THE WHOLE SCENARIO TO HER!! SHE PACKED THE FOLLOWING MORNING.

THE OTHER CHICK HAS RESORTED TO CALL HER DIRECTLY NOW, AND IAM REALLY HELPLESS ABOUT THIS SITUATION.

AS OF NOW, MY WIFE WENT TO STAY WITH HER SISTER IN DONHOLM ESTATE LEAVING ME WITH OUR TWO BOYS AND THE MBOCH.

MEANWHILE, AN INTER-FAMILY MEETING IS SCHEDULED FOR MY DIGS THIS SATURDAY TO DISCUSS THE ISSUE FURTHER.

PLEASE ADVICE ME ON HOW TO APPROACH THIS, WE BOTH COME FROM WESTERN PROVINCE AND I HEAR THAT THERE ARE SOME FELLAS COMING FROM THERE AS WELL (NOT VERY FRIENDLY).

HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS CRISIS? HOW CAN I EXPLAIN MY INNOCENCE??

KINDLY ASSIST.

REGARDS

@amiro

By amiro on 23-Apr-2008

 

›› annan  23-Apr-2008, 

@amiro

contact safaricom/celtel. i hear they offer such services as tracking, blocking, etc.

sorry for you though.

›› Sahau  23-Apr-2008, reply_55673

I must say your wife went on the extreme. She should have listened you out. Now prove your innocence by asking the "panel" to call your ex for her explanation. For a good measure, you should call your ex's husband (if you can get the number) and tell him what his wife is doing to you. Am saying all these hoping you never encouraged or entertained your ex.

›› hardrorc  23-Apr-2008, reply_55674

men i feel u pole sana.just be straight and call a spade a spade explain to ua in lows the whole story may be i say may be they will listen and make sure before the meeting kuku karibu kumi hivi zimekufa na kukahangwa and plus choma after they are full loaded explain

NoTE dont listen to Annan

›› eddlove  23-Apr-2008, reply_55676

@amiro pole pia mimi am in a similar situation strong man. lakini hawa wanawake wakikasirika me am begging now juu yuko kwa sister yake. so may be leo nita maliza kujitetea

›› kasmall  23-Apr-2008, reply_55679

Sorry bro. Maybe you try and call this woman ,ask her to come to yourestate that mornig and let your wife talk to her.Its a long shot but may work at helping you if your wife is sensible.

›› joto  23-Apr-2008, reply_55680

your wife has to decide either believing you or phone messages. stick to yout guns and dont go to that meeting because it would mean you are accepting that the messages are true.

yu should have a conversation with your wife two of you, with no strangers in your marriage. let them solve their problems before they embark on yours.

my brother, you re not guilty and let yuar wife give any evidence to the contrary.

›› Sahau  23-Apr-2008, reply_55687

Hey @joto by the way I agree with you. Amiro if your are genuinely innocent ie you never had anything to do with her when she started calling you, just refuse the kangaroo court. It never helps. Its your life and your wife and nobody can ask you to do what you don't want to do. They will leave for their homes and you will stay with your wife. Tell your wife you are ready to travel with her to Eldoret to look for his woman so that you can solve this problem. Like I said, involve her husband.

›› gates  23-Apr-2008, reply_55699

The fact that you are tomming from western province gives you an upper hand in this meeting. Now the reason why all this fellows are coming down is to save your marriage. Now explain everything as it is, and end up by convincing everyone in the meeting that the happenings is not your making and you still love your wife. In case you face some tough challenges in the process please in a polite way ask the panel If there is anyone who has never faced any hurdle in there marriages? Don't worry I do hope you know your wife and she knows you to don't I say don't allow your Ex to contact you wife. pole joo.

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_55700

ok guys, i need to clarify something here.

i have NEVER called her, and neither do i know whether she is in marriage or not, ama her wherebouts. I last saw her in 1998 and lost track of her and her siblings completely cause i was hurt by her deeds. the more i tried to avoid communicating with her the more she surged on..........

as for my wife, she doesnt want to hear nothing and insists that the verdict squarely lies with the panel of judges from ingo, this chick has been feeding her on some unimaginable stuff, you know the kind of "unaringa na bwana na ni wetu sisi wote".

she spoilt everything when she described a scar that i have on my left thigh from my soccer days, telling her taht we bonk like every other weekend!!

nb: some friends are telling me to report the story to the chief, ati this is a domestic issue and the chief HAS to be in that meeting.......... abit strange, is it true??? how do i start???

›› eddlove  23-Apr-2008, reply_55707

amiro are u married to yo relatives ama to her ignore that court do not even think of attending

›› guru  23-Apr-2008, reply_55713

Amiro pole. You are innocent, Period. Stand with your points. But first, why is your wife entertaining your ex by talking to her? Are they not supposed to be enemies? U can also talk to her sis and tell her the pure truth. Or else, let her sis talk to your ex and get to know the truth. She can then explain to your wife everything..

›› Sahau  23-Apr-2008, reply_55717

AMIRO! This is about you and your WIFE! If she thinks that "strangers" can convince her and not you, let me sadly tell you you are wasting your time. She either believes you or she decides what she wants to do. I will be harsh here but forgive me, a woman with two kids does not just run away to her sister. I most cases she will stay put to defend her turf!

Where are the ladies with their comments?

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_55718

@eddlove

venue is at my digs. my wife (as much as i love her) says that we both have to attend. i cant blame my wife, but the garb she has been receiving from that chick, i hear she's been calling her on her cell, i dont know just how in hell she got the number!

dont you think (rationally) that by skipping the session, they might take it as an act of cowardice or say, irresponsibility in terms of trying to salvage our marriage?

my elder bro insists that we just attend, since there are a couple of guys also coming from our shags, including a couple of ma uncles, who atleast are on my side.

eddy???

›› nzingili  23-Apr-2008, reply_55721

@amiro, pole but if you really didn't want anything to do with your X, You should have gotten another telephone number in the first place. Is this Ex still married or whats the picture here?

›› joto  23-Apr-2008, reply_55723

i still maintain no relatives. the thing is, you were not cought in bed with that woman therefore your wife has to listen to you.

that you have a scar is not an issue kwani? your wife should know that you were not a virgin when you met.

that eldoret woman is playing psychological games with your wife and your wife os falling for them.

the only people who need to talk hear are you and your wife, be patient she will come unless she has issues with you.

no relatives or marriage advisors. they will go back home and say how your wife is insecure and how you cannot manage a small problem.

it is an inhouse problem brother not for mobile advisers.

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_55739

@nzingili

iam innocent! i had given the thought of changing numbers, but i say, my phone doubles up as one of my business tools! can u imagine the number of clients, friends, relatives, enemies and other potential contacts that i may lose?? just imagine that............. like i said, i know nothing of her as in her marital status, location, nothing, info is just blank. malice, just that!

@joto

iam not saying that by attending i shall be the accused. it is just a matter of trying to expalin the whole scenario here. at the end of the day, these guys dont come to solve anything- i understand our culture down there, they take opportunity of the slightest incident.

i bet i should buy them a lot of booze (kali kali) without feeding them till they k.o. and then nothing discussed!!!

›› eddlove  23-Apr-2008, reply_55745

still no relatives

›› John Ku  23-Apr-2008, reply_55751

Buy a gun and shoot your ex.

›› joto  23-Apr-2008, reply_55757

no relatives. culture or otherwise. NO RELATIVES BROTHER.

thing is it was a message, not that you beat her or you were cought red hanfed, just a message brother.

when the truth comes out those advisers will accuse you of having no contol over your wife. wacha akkae huko

akichoka atakunja msolve the problem for now tuliza.

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_55762

@john Ku if you can just give me an idea on just how i can track her!! she does not disclose her location at any given time......

or can you do that for me?

›› Sahau  23-Apr-2008, reply_55765

AMIRO can I ask you a silly question? What will the relatives do to prove that you are innocent that your wife cannot do?

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_55784

@sahau as i've insisted before, iam innocent.

i think my wife has just realised her blunder in taking the issue a little bit too far. can you imagine she has been calling the kids asking how we are fairing on??

but i believe, whatever these guys are coming to do is just a formality, BUT just taking advantage!!

I still have a feeling that snobbing them wont be the best solution...... and for the sake of MY relatives, who are on MY side, i see no harm in attending.

›› Etto  23-Apr-2008, reply_55786

Its all said @amiro.All this is btwn you and your wife.As you are innocent,dont miss a word

when you are in that meeting just tell them the whole stroy.But this will depend if your wife is

understanding if she is well and good,but if aki kataa just ka nguumu hata wewe she will follow u

,promise.Dont lie too low when you are inocent.One more thing,coz i guess things will work out for you,just warn ua wife that

your cell phone and hers are private...tell her to avoid it even if it has 20 missed calls this will also

apply to you to her phone.People, a cell phone is something personal,coz ma hatters wako na wanaweza

ruin marriage anytime kwanza if either is not understanding....

ALL THE BEST BRO!!!!!!

›› Tat  23-Apr-2008, reply_55787

@ Amiro, sorry to say this but i think your wife is naive! if it were me you would be the one leaving the house i would pack your bags i would never leave my HUSBAND with my KIDS and a MAID! eeeeehhhhhhhh yawa thats just a complete menu!

›› Sahau  23-Apr-2008, reply_55795

Thats better @amiro. At least now e know its a face saving occasion where you are going to feed a bunch of relas. The blunder your wife has made is not only serious but very costly. Am sure next time she will be more careful in her accusations.

›› herbo  23-Apr-2008, reply_55796

hehe my guy what a predicament! but you know women never forgive and forget as long as she cant prove anything beyond reasonable doubt.beleiving ur storors iss never enough.believe me she might act like she has forgiven you but that topic will come up again in future.to revenge for now she might be seeing someone else so the safe thing is to kula the mboch in the meantime.

›› Sylar  23-Apr-2008, reply_55797

Dude, i sympathize with you, but at every point in life, a man must show cahones big enough to withstand the bullsh*t sent to us every day. this is what you do

(i) during the meeting do not be cowed by relaz and tell it like it is.

(ii) face your wife and ask her whether in all the years you have been together, you have been unfaithful even once

(iii) call that hutchi and pretend to want a conversation and once she is within reach B8cth slap her to Kingdom come

Most importantly, it is important to show the Males in your family and your wife's family that there is nothing you are hiding. Adopt a "Reversal attitude" yaani become the victim not the accused

›› guru  23-Apr-2008, reply_55917

First of all, your wife was not supposed to leave. U were supposed to talk this out (or were u not giving convincing answers?). I cant leave my home whatsoever without a convincing reason. Amiro i pray hard for u that all will be well. Let her sis be the mediator. Lakini usilenge watu wao. Glad to hear yua people are with u..

›› scouse  23-Apr-2008, reply_55938

@HERBO MY GOD GET A LIFE!!!

@amiro something close to that happened to me january this year and i lost the person i have ever loved most.

Make sure bedroom matters dont arise on the meeting they will leave you wounded forever

Remember you are innocent and that your wife owes you an apology and ask her if it was reversed if she'd expect you to believe in her

Dont stoop low on this one am not encouraging you to be a chauvinist am asking you not to let emotions reign but let logic do the thing in so doing it wont tear you guys emotionally.

Lastly i wish you all the best and hope it wont happen like in my case where all girl's extended SHE family knocked my door AND I OPENED I DIDNT CLEARLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT COZ THEY WERE ALL TALKING AT ONCE BUT I HEARD THE LAST FEW WORDS, "by the way boyfriend its OVER "

pole sana @amiro all the best

›› Tatoo  23-Apr-2008, reply_55949

Well well Amiro the advice you get here will help. You are supposed to learn the magnitude of your wife's temper. But you have to blame in the first place for entertaining this chic. One in that court accept the failure of entertaining her calls and Sms but Elaborate that its just a casual relationship.

You can go further and explain that she's ruining you after you never fall for his trap en your wife cant understand. Another failure I know you never explained that you are receiving calls from this dude to your wife as you were expecting accusations, that one I know.

Amiro come up with truths and lies. Lies are sweet to listen and make the cover the hot pots with them. make them beleive you and not your wife then after you succeed explain the whole thing to her even though your trust have reduced in her co-existence.

Dont worry Bro things happen. This is not worse than explaining cought red handed. Its simple let them create a mountain en you reduce it to a mole hill.

›› eddlove  23-Apr-2008, reply_56012

ama u r too blame coz i dont think a chic can be that pesistent n u have told her off tell us the truth

›› amiro  23-Apr-2008, reply_56090

@eddlove

if there was anything else than what i have explained, i would have confessed since iam seeng how concerned k'listers are and their willingness to help.

there is nothing, and my initial explanation still stands.

thats why am looking for help from you buddies!!

whats a brother / sister for??????

c'mon eddy....................................................

›› annan  23-Apr-2008, reply_56095

@amiro

As I advised you. Get the service provider (safaricom or celtel) and formally request for a computer printout on ALL your outgoing calls & sms's then as well request for ALL of her's.

Compare the dates, no. of times and the frequency at which calls were made with the jury (some shags modos) and then let them come up with a verdict.

By doing this, there won’t be anything to be discussed, since the source of all this jack s@#t is that stinking phone.

Do this fast brotha, before those guys get you.................................

›› 1flybabyblue  23-Apr-2008, reply_56133

1st. Pray for the meeting since you will be attending. Pray that it will be a success and that the truth shall reign. Prayer can change anything.

then all is well, na kumbuka, ukweli ni kama kohozi. haifichiki.

›› nzingili  24-Apr-2008, reply_56409

Why don't you block all are incoming texts in your mobile phone? How old is she at this time, Do you need this customary court yourself?

›› amiro  24-Apr-2008, reply_56448

@nzingili

like i said before, i cant block all incoming texts in my phone cause i work with it.........

i might loose a lot!

›› Supernatural Success  24-Apr-2008, reply_56466

Amiro I can perfectly nurse ur broken heart now.It seems like we have a common problem or enemy.am not married thou,ma boys x keeps on calling and sending texts insistively.

your x must be a certain Rose or her twin who has not given me peace of mind since I found ma guy.

She sends texts like every hour,evry day ma boy doesnt respond to them.

The story is long and sad,the fact is these are malicious women,desparetely witch-hunting,sexually stale no wonder they cant get good men they can keep or marry,products of promiscuity I quess,biological mistakes.etc

We can meet and compare notes..

›› Benno  26-Apr-2008, reply_56930

.Yea man i kno u r in deep ship!but above all u should attend the kangaroo court,the court is not meant to convict you but to solve this..its a good chance to shed light on those guys coz your wife might have exeggerated the story while pressenting to them,give daring points like u can call her, but make sure they understand that she is your Ex...it will help you also stand your ground if u r innocent,bt never try to go to Eldy or say of such a thing coz the guys will think u kno where the Jezebel lives......If guy from Western support your truth, dont worry....sho them you need your wife bt accept without any conditions..success

›› seeker  07-May-2008, reply_58647

dont avoid the court,be a man and speak clearly and plainly, then try turn the tables and ask ur wife how she left the house with no concience;who was to take care of the children?that will eat into her until she wont repeat such scare techniques again.

›› Mr.Hustler  07-May-2008, reply_58705

I did not know that you are married and have children. Am really sorry for what happened to you. Before i proceed to tell you what to do. u need to be honest because you lied to me that you are woman. I even suspected that you are a gay after finding out that you are a MAN.

›› Mr.Hustler  07-May-2008, reply_58706

I did not know that you are married and have children. Am really sorry for what happened to you. Before i proceed to tell you what to do. u need to be honest because you lied to me that you are woman. I even suspected that you are a gay after finding out that you are a MAN.

›› Mr.Hustler  07-May-2008, reply_58708

Just go and tell her family the truth for them to trust and beleave u again. if they are mature and reasonable, you will capture there trust and they will help to get your wife back.

remember , you can sweet talk your wife and come back her family may never trust you.

For a better catch, anza na familia amd be strong coz this is a serious issue.

›› Mr.Hustler  07-May-2008, reply_58709

Just go and tell her family the truth for them to trust and beleave u again. if they are mature and reasonable, you will capture there trust and they will help to get your wife back.

remember , you can sweet talk your wife and come back her family may never trust you.

For a better catch, anza na familia amd be strong coz this is a serious issue.

›› lovemat  28-Jan-2009, reply_112736

@Amiro....what was the outcome?.....hope you sorted things out. Let us know.

›› amiro  30-Jun-2009, reply_145193

@lovemat, iam now the proud owner of two wives.......

 

 

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